Three things people have said to me at work in the last month...
1. Woman filling in library application form - "What country is this?". What? Let's just be glad she knew her name.
2. Woman on a Saturday library tour - "So, are you only open Monday to Friday?". Actual answer "Errr, no, we're open on a Saturday as well". In my head answer "No, we're closed, all these people here working are actors". Alternative in my head answer "Yes, and this is all a dream, a dream, a dream...".
3. Man sitting in library. That's in the library. "Are you open?" Actual answer (a very snappy) "Yes!". In my head answer "No. We're closed. That's why you couldn't get through the locked door".
Friday, December 16, 2005
Another story about too tight trousers
I've decided to give up the annual pre-christmas diet. Maybe 'give up' isn't the phrase I should be using, as not eating biscuits between 11am - 7pm yesterday doesn't really qualify as a diet, does it?
Anyway, this years solution will be to go shopping after work tonight and buying a pair of the next size up trousers. That way I can eat what the hell I like, and my clothes will still be a bit loose, therefore creating the illusion of thinness.
Pure genius, that's what I am.
Anyway, this years solution will be to go shopping after work tonight and buying a pair of the next size up trousers. That way I can eat what the hell I like, and my clothes will still be a bit loose, therefore creating the illusion of thinness.
Pure genius, that's what I am.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Card Humbug!
Why, oh why, oh why, oh why card manufacturers of Great Britain?
In the name of all things festive, why?
Why do you insist on making your christmas cards for family members so goddamn nauseating? All I want, if it's not too much to ask, is a card that says "Merry Christmas Dad" or "Happy New Year Sister". And what do you give me? "I'm glad that your my special daddy" or "To my special sister" or "I've already had my christmas wish come true, I've got you as my (insert blood relative of choice here)". And don't get me started on "To my mum and her fella", "You're like a dad to me", "To my special sister and her fiancee" (who is presumably just plan ordinary). What the hell is that all about? Do you have any idea how hard it is, as a child of non-divorced parents to buy christmas cards?
Just stop it. Oh, and while you're at it, people do still have birthdays in December you know, so maybe next year, leave a few birthday cards around. Cus they can tell when you've scratched 'Christmas' off and scribbled in 'Birthday' over the top. Trust me.
In the name of all things festive, why?
Why do you insist on making your christmas cards for family members so goddamn nauseating? All I want, if it's not too much to ask, is a card that says "Merry Christmas Dad" or "Happy New Year Sister". And what do you give me? "I'm glad that your my special daddy" or "To my special sister" or "I've already had my christmas wish come true, I've got you as my (insert blood relative of choice here)". And don't get me started on "To my mum and her fella", "You're like a dad to me", "To my special sister and her fiancee" (who is presumably just plan ordinary). What the hell is that all about? Do you have any idea how hard it is, as a child of non-divorced parents to buy christmas cards?
Just stop it. Oh, and while you're at it, people do still have birthdays in December you know, so maybe next year, leave a few birthday cards around. Cus they can tell when you've scratched 'Christmas' off and scribbled in 'Birthday' over the top. Trust me.
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