Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Indie Boot Camp

Oh, the wonderful ideas you have when you're giddy on Moscow Mules and bbq smoke: Indie Boot Camp (IBC). Simple really, we will help people on their transistion to indie. We have no prejudice and will take ravers, metal heads, goths, or grebos. Simply send them to IBC and watch them pop out the other side all squeaky clean and clad in indie wear with a nice indie haircut (with compulsory floppy fringes for boys) to boot. It will save them all that painful wearing brand new Nirvana t-shirts and experimenting with home tie-dye that currently accompanies the indie-ing out of the closet process.

I will generously take all the credit for coming up with the name, but I have to take my indie hat off to my friend Clare who came up with this inspired timetable.

Indie Boot Camp - you'll leave us being the biggest fan of a group no-one else has ever heard of - or your money back!

The intensive one day course should be about £200 I think. But really we'll need a whole week which should be £1,000.

I see the week long programme looking like this:

Monday am - Introductions and enforced indie haircuts
Monday pm - The history of indie music (from The Smiths to Hard-Fi)

Tuesday am - Anyone Can Play Guitar (an introduction to strumming the guitar - only minor chords taught)
Tuesday pm - True Pop Facts, including extended sessions on the gossip pages of NME and Q

Wednesday am - In praise of the work of John Peel
Wednesday pm - Dance and deportment (or the subtle art of pogoing/dancing in fabulous heels)

Thursday am - Festival etiquette and preparation
Thursday pm - a choice of - Women in Indie or Kula Shaker (a warning from history)

Friday am - Unfashionable fashion Choices I
Friday pm - Unfashionable fashion Choices II

Saturday am - Art School Rock focusing on the work of Bernard Butler and Damon Albarn)
Saturday pm - Who we hate and why (Clare rants about Coldplay ALL afternoon)

Sunday am - Unusually cool Americans (The Killers are OK)
Sunday pm - Hunting for obscure gig tickets

and home.

Any takers?
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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Clare pointed this out blog out to me and i'd like to be considered to lecture on the following subjects:-

20th century guitar strap lengths and there place in the modern idiom.

"Big man on Campus" AKA correct retro footwear.

Everything you every needed to know about Morrisey in order to be accepted by the NME.

The importance of the post-modern imported Japanese T-Shirt in popular music.



More to come.
A.

July 13, 2005 5:28 PM
AB said...

Hooray for voluntary bootcamp teachers. I feel that Morrisey is going to warrant a whole seperate course to himself soon. Quite right too.

I'm also developing a new course: 'From Christian O'Connell to Jo Whiley' how to pick a non-annoying indie dj.

July 15, 2005 9:01 AM

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