Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I can't take it anymore, I have to blog about Tom Cruise again! I have been fighting the temptation all week, although to be honest this is going to be a lazy blog of links, I don't think I have the energy to type about how much that little man annoys me.
So, I'll just say this and then I'll leave you to some links. Was I the only person in the world who hasn't been calling him Dr. Tom Cruise?
What did Katie do?
Someone who thinks about this more than me!
I think this is serious, good job Dr T. knows all about the history of psychiatry, 'cus they need his help, fast!
Well, I wish they'd come and take him back, god knows we've all had enough of him.
Let me know of any good links people, I can't get enough. I think I caught this obsession from Bookish Barbara
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Saturday, June 25, 2005
The Killers
ROCK! After watching them on the Glastonbury highlights last night, I love them even more. God bless any man who can keep his make up on whilst sweating that much. And God bless them all for being the only people in a ten mile radius of Worthy Farm without so much as a fleck of mud on them.
Carried away by the whole festival thing, my sister, my friend and I decided that we were going to go to Glastonbury next year. Then we remembered there is no Glasto next year. Then we decided to go the year after instead, so the fund for Glasto 2007 starts here. I'm transferring the 2p from the mortgage fund over. Who was I kidding with that anyway? So, my friend wants us to go in a camper van (although a cruise liner might be more appropriate...) which I agree with. I'll be the big 3-0 that year, and if I'm going to do a festival, I'm going to do it in style. I want a cocktail fridge and my own chemical loo. Just like Nicky Wire :)
Right, so that's two years to save up for the ticket and the hire of a camper van. Oh, and for one of us to learn how to drive....
Carried away by the whole festival thing, my sister, my friend and I decided that we were going to go to Glastonbury next year. Then we remembered there is no Glasto next year. Then we decided to go the year after instead, so the fund for Glasto 2007 starts here. I'm transferring the 2p from the mortgage fund over. Who was I kidding with that anyway? So, my friend wants us to go in a camper van (although a cruise liner might be more appropriate...) which I agree with. I'll be the big 3-0 that year, and if I'm going to do a festival, I'm going to do it in style. I want a cocktail fridge and my own chemical loo. Just like Nicky Wire :)
Right, so that's two years to save up for the ticket and the hire of a camper van. Oh, and for one of us to learn how to drive....
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
The Joys of Moving House (Part One)
Money, money, money. Welcome to part one of a no-doubt many parted series of The Joys of Moving House.
Our broadband providers are going to charge us £25 to move our connection to a new number, and we have to have a new number as we are moving to a new telephone exchange area. If we were staying in the same exchange area then we could keep the same phone number, but we'd have to pay for that to be transferred.
That's it, I am never moving again! The mortgage fund starts now with that mysterious 2p that always seems to be in my desk tidy.
Our broadband providers are going to charge us £25 to move our connection to a new number, and we have to have a new number as we are moving to a new telephone exchange area. If we were staying in the same exchange area then we could keep the same phone number, but we'd have to pay for that to be transferred.
That's it, I am never moving again! The mortgage fund starts now with that mysterious 2p that always seems to be in my desk tidy.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Super shut up!
Dear Tom 'I'm so happy' Cruise and Katie 'child bride' Holmes,
1. Tom: Shut up. You are not the first person ever to have a midlife crisis and fall in lust with a younger lady. Oh, sorry. I mean 'true love'. My mistake. And while you're at it, get the hell out of my country with your freaky "I'm so happy" crap and your sense of humour failure. And your oh-so-faux 'I'm going to phone your mum on your mobile' lame-ass routine.
2. Katie: Run! run for the hills! Run as fast as you can lady, run, run, run!
Yours, in a state of fed-up of hearing about youness,
Lady Librarian
P.S. Run Katie! Run!
1. Tom: Shut up. You are not the first person ever to have a midlife crisis and fall in lust with a younger lady. Oh, sorry. I mean 'true love'. My mistake. And while you're at it, get the hell out of my country with your freaky "I'm so happy" crap and your sense of humour failure. And your oh-so-faux 'I'm going to phone your mum on your mobile' lame-ass routine.
2. Katie: Run! run for the hills! Run as fast as you can lady, run, run, run!
Yours, in a state of fed-up of hearing about youness,
Lady Librarian
P.S. Run Katie! Run!
Shut up!
I went home for the weekend, and these are the conversations I overheard and wished I hadn't.
1. On the train home I got to sit in First Class for no extra as the train was full and so they 'declassified' a first class carriage to let the general public use it. The train manager made an announcement to say 'if you don't have a reservation go to coach G'. Therefore carriage G was full of people who had brought tickets that didn't have reserved seats, and yet there were these two woman who were having this conversation when I got on the train, and when I got off it an hour and a half later:
Woman 1: Well, I shan't move when they ask us too, 'cus there aren't any seats, it's a disgrace.
Woman 2: Yes, and they can't make us move, and we shan't move, shall we?
Woman 1: Well, how will they make us move? They can't make us move. How many seats are on this train? 1000? And they're all full.
Woman 2: Well, we'll just stay here, we won't move, they can't make us. It's a disgrace.
Although they did venture off onto this subject for about 10 minutes when the drinks trolley came round:
Woman 1: £3.50 for a Gin and Tonic?
Woman 2: It's a disgrace.
2. On the train back, despite having my super earphones in that usually block out background noise, I managed to overhear a boy having this conversation. With every bleedin' person in his mobile phone address book. For three hours:
Boy: I went on a blind date with two girls on Friday, Girl Number One was alright, but I liked Girl Number Two, and then Girl Number One got really funny, so I told her to go home so I could stay out with Girl Number Two.
What a charmer!
And my favourite excuse that was given for late running trains, which were quite clearly to blame on over-running engineering works (clue: we could see the engineers from the train window) ? That old British standard - after two whole days of warm weather, the tracks were suffering from 'heat exhaustion'.
1. On the train home I got to sit in First Class for no extra as the train was full and so they 'declassified' a first class carriage to let the general public use it. The train manager made an announcement to say 'if you don't have a reservation go to coach G'. Therefore carriage G was full of people who had brought tickets that didn't have reserved seats, and yet there were these two woman who were having this conversation when I got on the train, and when I got off it an hour and a half later:
Woman 1: Well, I shan't move when they ask us too, 'cus there aren't any seats, it's a disgrace.
Woman 2: Yes, and they can't make us move, and we shan't move, shall we?
Woman 1: Well, how will they make us move? They can't make us move. How many seats are on this train? 1000? And they're all full.
Woman 2: Well, we'll just stay here, we won't move, they can't make us. It's a disgrace.
Although they did venture off onto this subject for about 10 minutes when the drinks trolley came round:
Woman 1: £3.50 for a Gin and Tonic?
Woman 2: It's a disgrace.
2. On the train back, despite having my super earphones in that usually block out background noise, I managed to overhear a boy having this conversation. With every bleedin' person in his mobile phone address book. For three hours:
Boy: I went on a blind date with two girls on Friday, Girl Number One was alright, but I liked Girl Number Two, and then Girl Number One got really funny, so I told her to go home so I could stay out with Girl Number Two.
What a charmer!
And my favourite excuse that was given for late running trains, which were quite clearly to blame on over-running engineering works (clue: we could see the engineers from the train window) ? That old British standard - after two whole days of warm weather, the tracks were suffering from 'heat exhaustion'.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Too much month at the end of the money
It's pay day today, hooray! I have forgotten my pin number, boo! As soon as I stood in front of the cash machine this morning, my mind went blank. I'm hoping that I'll remember it soon as there are many albums I want to get (New Foos, Nine Black Alps, The Magic Numbers, Hard-Fi) and I'm going away for the weekend!
More distressing than the pin-number forgetting incident is me having officially lost the ability to travel light. How did I manage an 8 month trip with only 2 pairs of trousers and 5 t-shirts when now I feel I have to take three entire changes of outfits for a 2 day trip to my parents? On the final journey home I had in my day pack, 2 bottles wine from New Zealand, a pair of hiking boots, change of clothing, toiletries, magazines, 600+ page novel, 4 mugs with the logo "I heart NY" and various other bits of crap. In my day pack. The small bag. Today I have brought my tiny Miffy case and have, amongst other things, chargers for both my MP3 player and my mobile (including the adapter from Australian to English electric). For 2 days. I have so much clean underwear with me Mr Librarian must've thought his luck was in and I was leaving for good!
Packing bags always makes me feel travel sick. Not travel sick in a head-exploding-dizzy-like-a-drunk plane taking off way, or travel sick in a potential-vomit-with-every-bump-in-the-road on the bus trip between LA and San Fransisco, but travel sick in a wish-I-was-still-travelling kinda way. To cheer myself up I had a pineapple juice on the way to work this morning, always reminds me of travelling, it's just so exotic! Mmm, pineapple...To rub in the fact that I am not on my travels, I had to walk around the airport pick-up bus at the hotel next to work this morning, and guess what the last thing that came on 'random' this morning? (after the three Suede songs in a row. Random? Lazy.) Radiohead 'The Tourist'. It's all about the travel nostalgia today.
More distressing than the pin-number forgetting incident is me having officially lost the ability to travel light. How did I manage an 8 month trip with only 2 pairs of trousers and 5 t-shirts when now I feel I have to take three entire changes of outfits for a 2 day trip to my parents? On the final journey home I had in my day pack, 2 bottles wine from New Zealand, a pair of hiking boots, change of clothing, toiletries, magazines, 600+ page novel, 4 mugs with the logo "I heart NY" and various other bits of crap. In my day pack. The small bag. Today I have brought my tiny Miffy case and have, amongst other things, chargers for both my MP3 player and my mobile (including the adapter from Australian to English electric). For 2 days. I have so much clean underwear with me Mr Librarian must've thought his luck was in and I was leaving for good!
Packing bags always makes me feel travel sick. Not travel sick in a head-exploding-dizzy-like-a-drunk plane taking off way, or travel sick in a potential-vomit-with-every-bump-in-the-road on the bus trip between LA and San Fransisco, but travel sick in a wish-I-was-still-travelling kinda way. To cheer myself up I had a pineapple juice on the way to work this morning, always reminds me of travelling, it's just so exotic! Mmm, pineapple...To rub in the fact that I am not on my travels, I had to walk around the airport pick-up bus at the hotel next to work this morning, and guess what the last thing that came on 'random' this morning? (after the three Suede songs in a row. Random? Lazy.) Radiohead 'The Tourist'. It's all about the travel nostalgia today.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Richie not Richey
Richie (not Richey) Edwards has joined The Darkness as their new bassist. I am most disappointed that the new bassist is not husband of Booky B in his pirate outfit, and here are some other things that I have noticed:
1. He is nowhere near hairy enough for The Darkness
2. He looks like he should be the new member of Right Said Fred
3. His name is Richie Edwards, we can't hear the spelling difference can we? Imagine the upset amongst the old school Manics fans!
4. He has no moustache (see point 1)
5. He doesn't look like he just fell out of The Village People like Frankie did
and finally
6. I am thinking about this way too much
1. He is nowhere near hairy enough for The Darkness
2. He looks like he should be the new member of Right Said Fred
3. His name is Richie Edwards, we can't hear the spelling difference can we? Imagine the upset amongst the old school Manics fans!
4. He has no moustache (see point 1)
5. He doesn't look like he just fell out of The Village People like Frankie did
and finally
6. I am thinking about this way too much
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
How clean is your house?
We've decided to go on one of those holidays where you go and live in a new house and take all your belongings and you don't come back. Oh, alright then, we're not actually going on holiday, we're just moving house. Which I am medium excited about. New flat: love it! Easy to get to new job from, near the town centre, fabulous 1920's building and (most importantly) we have our own stairs. I am so happy! The process of moving I am not so happy about. I hate the whole putting things in boxes to put in a van to drive a mile down the road to take it all out again. Someone better at science than me needs to invent some kind of machine where you can just zap your belongings to your new flat. Come on, quickly nerds, get to it.
The people we are letting from were like a breath of fresh air. The flat we are having has been trashed by it's previous tenants in a most spectacular fashion. To prepare us for this one woman actually said "It's the kind of place where you wipe your feet on the way out"! Much better than the flat we were shown in the morning which was vile. It smelt like someone had died in there by smoking themselves to death. The wallpaper was hanging off the walls and the one thing the guy showing us around said was "The bathroom extractor fan works". That was it's only redeeming feature in his eyes. I mine it was the serving hatch between the kitchen and living room. Fabulous. Shame about the rest of the flat. Hmm, and by the way, estate agents, if you ask us what we think, we will tell you the truth.
Estate agent: "So, what do you think?"
Me: "It's skanky and it smells like someone died in here"
Estate agent: "Tell me your honest opinion"
Mr Librarian: "It smells and there is damp on the wall"
Estate agent: "It's filthy and needs professionally cleaning and re-decorating"
Both: "We love it!"
He, he, he :)
The people we are letting from were like a breath of fresh air. The flat we are having has been trashed by it's previous tenants in a most spectacular fashion. To prepare us for this one woman actually said "It's the kind of place where you wipe your feet on the way out"! Much better than the flat we were shown in the morning which was vile. It smelt like someone had died in there by smoking themselves to death. The wallpaper was hanging off the walls and the one thing the guy showing us around said was "The bathroom extractor fan works". That was it's only redeeming feature in his eyes. I mine it was the serving hatch between the kitchen and living room. Fabulous. Shame about the rest of the flat. Hmm, and by the way, estate agents, if you ask us what we think, we will tell you the truth.
Estate agent: "So, what do you think?"
Me: "It's skanky and it smells like someone died in here"
Estate agent: "Tell me your honest opinion"
Mr Librarian: "It smells and there is damp on the wall"
Estate agent: "It's filthy and needs professionally cleaning and re-decorating"
Both: "We love it!"
He, he, he :)
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Real, real, real?
Last night I thought I was sitting at home flicking through the channels trying and failing to find something half-decent to watch. However, what was really happening was that from a hidden lair somewhere an evil genius was messing with the space/time continue-thingy and we have all been sucked back to 1991. How do I know? Easy. Why else would the The Happy Mondays, Jesus Jones and The La's be touring?
Hmm, what's that you said at the back? Desperate for cash? Stoney broke? No, I think my explanation is more plausible.
Hmm, what's that you said at the back? Desperate for cash? Stoney broke? No, I think my explanation is more plausible.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Holiday! Celebrate!
So, Lady Librarian has a new job. Yes, well done me indeed. In between leaving this library and starting in my new library I am going to have a week off. Yesterday I got a tax rebate from those lovely, lovely people at the lovely Inland Revenue. And even those of us with only a basic grasp on maths know that week off + tax rebate = holiday!
So where should we go? Our last 'holiday' was an eight month round the world trip. So something a little less extravagant this time I think. And something a great deal cheaper too, they aren't that lovely at the Inland Revenue. And I'd really prefer it if we didn't have to do that whole 'up in the air' flying thing. Although in the name of holidays I am prepared to be hysterical on planes one more time. Well, two. See, now I just wrote one, and I am automatically thinking about the whole plane-crashing-falling-out-of-the-sky death scenario.
Anyway, death aside, I think I've found my perfect holiday. Tea and not flying, what more could a girl ask for? I'd really like to go here and here, but maybe next year after the new job wages kick in. I also want to do this before it closes, which would just be so sad. I didn't even know it existed!
Right, I'm off to put 'tax rebate and holiday' into google to see where I should go.
So where should we go? Our last 'holiday' was an eight month round the world trip. So something a little less extravagant this time I think. And something a great deal cheaper too, they aren't that lovely at the Inland Revenue. And I'd really prefer it if we didn't have to do that whole 'up in the air' flying thing. Although in the name of holidays I am prepared to be hysterical on planes one more time. Well, two. See, now I just wrote one, and I am automatically thinking about the whole plane-crashing-falling-out-of-the-sky death scenario.
Anyway, death aside, I think I've found my perfect holiday. Tea and not flying, what more could a girl ask for? I'd really like to go here and here, but maybe next year after the new job wages kick in. I also want to do this before it closes, which would just be so sad. I didn't even know it existed!
Right, I'm off to put 'tax rebate and holiday' into google to see where I should go.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Pretend Celebrity Boyfriends
(That is, celebrities that are pretend boyfriends, and not boyfriends that are pretend celebrities.)
So, in PCB news, despite looking dapper in a hat, Lovely Ewan has been relegated to the subs bench. It was a hard decision, but something I'd been considering since the final 'beard' moments of the new Star Wars. Lovely Ewan with beard in real life round the world on a motorbike epic = handsome and rugged, Lovely Ewan with beard in new Star Wars = old man beard that probably has bread crumbs in it. Or crumbs of whatever it is that a Jedi snacks on. Also all this 'Guys and Dolls' whoo-haa. When will I ever get to pretend see him? I'm not paying West End theatre ticket prices just to go and get my L.E. fix. No sirree. I'll just go home and re-watch Velvet Goldmine. So he joins Dave Foo (crime: getting married to someone other than me) and Alex Franz (crime: getting his fringe cut)back on the bench.
So, laydeez and gennulmen, my new pretend celebrity boyfriend is (drum roll.......) James Dean Bradfield! Check out the second row, second picture from the right. Phwoar! Yes, I'm going back to my first ever serious P.C.B. It's been quite a while since I was pretend involved with him, what with the on going fued with my friend Essex Librarian over who gets to marry him first, but listening to the Manics this morning on the way to work reminded me how much I pretend love him. That voice! Such passion! He makes my knees go weak. You can keep your Nicky Wire with his fancy frocks and love of Dysons, and you can keep your drummer Sean with his 'one haircut behind the rest of the band' hair, I heart James Dean Bradfield the most. And he'll have plenty of time for me, he's not showing off in some play, or touring, or being in the news. Although I have just noticed that Muppets Christmas Carol isn't in his top ten films. Hmm, we'll see about that one.
So, in PCB news, despite looking dapper in a hat, Lovely Ewan has been relegated to the subs bench. It was a hard decision, but something I'd been considering since the final 'beard' moments of the new Star Wars. Lovely Ewan with beard in real life round the world on a motorbike epic = handsome and rugged, Lovely Ewan with beard in new Star Wars = old man beard that probably has bread crumbs in it. Or crumbs of whatever it is that a Jedi snacks on. Also all this 'Guys and Dolls' whoo-haa. When will I ever get to pretend see him? I'm not paying West End theatre ticket prices just to go and get my L.E. fix. No sirree. I'll just go home and re-watch Velvet Goldmine. So he joins Dave Foo (crime: getting married to someone other than me) and Alex Franz (crime: getting his fringe cut)back on the bench.
So, laydeez and gennulmen, my new pretend celebrity boyfriend is (drum roll.......) James Dean Bradfield! Check out the second row, second picture from the right. Phwoar! Yes, I'm going back to my first ever serious P.C.B. It's been quite a while since I was pretend involved with him, what with the on going fued with my friend Essex Librarian over who gets to marry him first, but listening to the Manics this morning on the way to work reminded me how much I pretend love him. That voice! Such passion! He makes my knees go weak. You can keep your Nicky Wire with his fancy frocks and love of Dysons, and you can keep your drummer Sean with his 'one haircut behind the rest of the band' hair, I heart James Dean Bradfield the most. And he'll have plenty of time for me, he's not showing off in some play, or touring, or being in the news. Although I have just noticed that Muppets Christmas Carol isn't in his top ten films. Hmm, we'll see about that one.
Monday, June 06, 2005
The second coming
So, the Live8 concert tickets went up for grabs this morning. I've been whinging about the fact that you can only apply if you have one of them new fangled mobile phones, and a billing acount phone to boot. What about the lo-fi kids like me with a pay as you go? Or the super lo-fi dads like mine who don't even have a phone, but still like to rock?
Mr Librarian entered a competition by email in our Sunday paper yesterday. Whilst I am still amused by the Saturday evening 'spot the 10 differences' in my back-home local paper (you can win £20!), he is above these things, and entered the 'spot the snippet of an obscure painting' in the slighly more high brow Independent on Sunday. Mr Librarian is very clever at all things art and sciencey, which is good, as I'm not. We'd make a killer quiz team, as I could answer all the biscuit/shoe/boy band related questions, and he could answer all the clever clogs questions.
This competition frenzy got me thinking; whatever happened to all the blank postcards? You know, answers on a postcard (or sealed down envelope). Any parent worth their salt had a book of blank postcards in the kitchen cupboard for Saturday morning competitions to win a signed photograph of Curiosity Killed The Cat, or a Blue Peter 'name the latest pet' competition. Is there a whole industry of postcard makers that have gone down the drain because of all these hi-tech enter using electricity methods? Have all the blank postcards lost their dignity and given themselves over the printed side? Do they all have saucy seasides scenes where they were once white and pure?
Well kids, I'm starting the backlash. I'm entering the Live8 competition by post. And if I don't get tickets, I'm going to continue Sir Bob's crazy everything-8ness by having my very own 'Going to work on a Saturday and being annoyed 'cus there will be loads of traffic around Hyde Park making my journey to the station fifteen times as long-8'.
ADDED 08/06/05 - News just in! I'm getting this woman to join my postcard campaign.
Mr Librarian entered a competition by email in our Sunday paper yesterday. Whilst I am still amused by the Saturday evening 'spot the 10 differences' in my back-home local paper (you can win £20!), he is above these things, and entered the 'spot the snippet of an obscure painting' in the slighly more high brow Independent on Sunday. Mr Librarian is very clever at all things art and sciencey, which is good, as I'm not. We'd make a killer quiz team, as I could answer all the biscuit/shoe/boy band related questions, and he could answer all the clever clogs questions.
This competition frenzy got me thinking; whatever happened to all the blank postcards? You know, answers on a postcard (or sealed down envelope). Any parent worth their salt had a book of blank postcards in the kitchen cupboard for Saturday morning competitions to win a signed photograph of Curiosity Killed The Cat, or a Blue Peter 'name the latest pet' competition. Is there a whole industry of postcard makers that have gone down the drain because of all these hi-tech enter using electricity methods? Have all the blank postcards lost their dignity and given themselves over the printed side? Do they all have saucy seasides scenes where they were once white and pure?
Well kids, I'm starting the backlash. I'm entering the Live8 competition by post. And if I don't get tickets, I'm going to continue Sir Bob's crazy everything-8ness by having my very own 'Going to work on a Saturday and being annoyed 'cus there will be loads of traffic around Hyde Park making my journey to the station fifteen times as long-8'.
ADDED 08/06/05 - News just in! I'm getting this woman to join my postcard campaign.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
The perils of being too poor for a mortgage
The current abode of myself and Mr Librarian is very small. In estate agent speak it is "cosy". We have so little storage space that when we do a big food shop, we have to keep some of it in bags under the kitchen table. If we have more than one guest you can barely move. The night we moved in (and then every Monday at 1am for six weeks in a row) the upstairs neighbours woke up up by having the loudest sex you ever did hear. Vile. We've been there for a nearly a year now and I just about feel settled. When we spoke to our landlord about getting a new contract he said "the rent will stay the same". Silly me for not realising that this actually meant "I will write to you in a few weeks time with a letter stating that the rent will actually be increasing". Silly, silly me. I must remember to take that crash course in How To Understand Landlord. We may have to move flats. I am not amused.
To see if it would cheer me up any at lunch I ate a packet of crisps, a bag of maltesers, a minty sweet and drank a can of fizzy pop.
I am still not amused. And now I feel sick. And we still probably have to move. Pass the cardboard boxes...
To see if it would cheer me up any at lunch I ate a packet of crisps, a bag of maltesers, a minty sweet and drank a can of fizzy pop.
I am still not amused. And now I feel sick. And we still probably have to move. Pass the cardboard boxes...
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