Super shut up!

Dear Tom 'I'm so happy' Cruise and Katie 'child bride' Holmes,

1. Tom: Shut up. You are not the first person ever to have a midlife crisis and fall in lust with a younger lady. Oh, sorry. I mean 'true love'. My mistake. And while you're at it, get the hell out of my country with your freaky "I'm so happy" crap and your sense of humour failure. And your oh-so-faux 'I'm going to phone your mum on your mobile' lame-ass routine.
2. Katie: Run! run for the hills! Run as fast as you can lady, run, run, run!

Yours, in a state of fed-up of hearing about youness,

Lady Librarian

P.S. Run Katie! Run!