How clean is your house?

We've decided to go on one of those holidays where you go and live in a new house and take all your belongings and you don't come back. Oh, alright then, we're not actually going on holiday, we're just moving house. Which I am medium excited about. New flat: love it! Easy to get to new job from, near the town centre, fabulous 1920's building and (most importantly) we have our own stairs. I am so happy! The process of moving I am not so happy about. I hate the whole putting things in boxes to put in a van to drive a mile down the road to take it all out again. Someone better at science than me needs to invent some kind of machine where you can just zap your belongings to your new flat. Come on, quickly nerds, get to it.

The people we are letting from were like a breath of fresh air. The flat we are having has been trashed by it's previous tenants in a most spectacular fashion. To prepare us for this one woman actually said "It's the kind of place where you wipe your feet on the way out"! Much better than the flat we were shown in the morning which was vile. It smelt like someone had died in there by smoking themselves to death. The wallpaper was hanging off the walls and the one thing the guy showing us around said was "The bathroom extractor fan works". That was it's only redeeming feature in his eyes. I mine it was the serving hatch between the kitchen and living room. Fabulous. Shame about the rest of the flat. Hmm, and by the way, estate agents, if you ask us what we think, we will tell you the truth.

Estate agent: "So, what do you think?"
Me: "It's skanky and it smells like someone died in here"

Estate agent: "Tell me your honest opinion"
Mr Librarian: "It smells and there is damp on the wall"

Estate agent: "It's filthy and needs professionally cleaning and re-decorating"
Both: "We love it!"

He, he, he :)